Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
