Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
