I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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