She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
