i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize