Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
