he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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