Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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