she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
