Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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