So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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