Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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(856): View more from New Jersey

And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(206): View more from Washington

Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

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(619): View more from California

Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.

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(631): View more from New York

A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina

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