There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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