If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,