they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.