the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂