I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He better not be in your backpack
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
