why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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