Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
