every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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