Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
