My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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