I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.