yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????