u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
