I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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