My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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