i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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