your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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