Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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