I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
