nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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