God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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