Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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