He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
is it fun? or sober?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
