I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize