On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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