stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
