i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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