I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I deserve this hangover.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
