9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
