You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
