Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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