I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
