Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
