what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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