He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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