There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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