dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
