is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
