remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
FUCK WHALES
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
