Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We talked him into tasing himself.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
