Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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