so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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