there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
