is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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