it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
