Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
