My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I FOUND THE LEGS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
