My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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