Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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