I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
