my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize