She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
