This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
