goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
